Do you ever feel like you are not living up to expectations?
The expectations projected onto you by others (e.g. family, friends, colleagues, the system) and those you place on yourself (e.g. "I can't make a mistake," "I have to be perfect," "I'm worthless if I'm not a ______.")
2022 Jimmy Awards Solo Performance - Kendall Becerra sings Breathe from In the Heights
In the song Breathe from the Broadway Musical In the Heights Nina returns from her first year of college having dropped out and has hidden this fact from her parents because she had high expectations placed on her to be "the first to go to college."
Nina has intersectional identities and experiences that shape how intensely she feels overwhelmed by these challenges.
"So how can I say that while I was away, I had so much to hide! Hey guys, it's me!
The biggest disappointment you know.
The kid couldn't hack it, she's back and she's walkin real slow..."
- You have likely tried to grapple with the expectations placed on you by others?
- It can be helpful to reflect on the root of these expectations, how realistic they are and the purpose behind them.
- What are your intersectional identities and how have they impacted the expectations you've faced?
- Even when these expectations are well intentioned, they can send a message that you need to perform and succeed to have value.
"They are all counting on me to succeed.
I am the one who made it out.
The one who always made the grade, but maybe I should've just stayed home..."
Where does that leave you if you don't succeed, you are experiencing burnout, or want to make a new path?
"I got every scholarship. Saved every dollar. The first to go to college.
How do I tell them why, I'm coming back home with my eyes on the horizon?
It's of critical importance to treat yourself with kindness and recognize that reassessing your priorities, taking time for yourself, and forging a new path does not mean you've failed.
Nina offers some sage advice...
"Just Breathe..."